So, I finished the book. And I am sitting here in my quiet living room, all 3 dogs fast asleep on the sectional sofa where I was just sleeping with them until about an hour ago. I’m thinking of the talk I’m supposed to have with David later. And as for the book? When I closed it after reading the last page, I thought, “I really hope she doesn’t die.” I mean, of course she’ll die someday. I just hope it’s not soon, and not of cancer.
And I couldn’t help but think of Halle and Autumn. How did I end up with 2 best friends whose daughters ended up with rare, serious, aggressive cancers as teenagers? Autumn has already outlived her initial prognosis, but there is heartbreak there. She’s decided her mother, my very best friend in the entire world, is toxic and cannot have a relationship with her. I don’t know why. I can’t understand. My friend is broken over it – absolutely gutted. And I can’t do anything about it. Can I? She asked long ago for none of us to mention anything about it to Autumn, and we’ve respected her wishes. But I don’t know how much longer I can do it.
And then there is Halle. And I think, please don’t let our luck run out. Please let there be a miracle. Please let her dad, who lost Halle’s mom shortly after her birth, not lose another woman who he loves with all his heart. I think how hard cancer must be on their whole family, and how they probably don’t let us in on everything. And how much I love Tina and how amazing and wonderful and just simply THERE for me she’s been through Aaron’s illness and hospitalizations.
Life is so hard and we’re all trying our best, and sometimes it seems so cruel that some seem to be able to sail through life and others, well, we scramble and scrabble and still don’t make it to where we want to.
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